Maa… Experience de’ Lyf…

Maa… a very renowned word… Usually people call Mother, mom, mummy etc. For everyone on this earth, the meaning of mom is far more than anyone else. One gets a different feeling when he/she talks with or about his or her mom, obviously exceptions apart. I shall not be mistaken here for giving no importance to dad, rather it is just a level of comfort one has with mom. Obviously, for me my dad has an equal position to that of my mom. But, whenever I feel like talking something out of my mind, I prefer yelling it out at my mom. Yes, rightly written, yelling out, because you never dare yell out in front of your dad, he will take you the utmost level of discipline while talking. Obviously, here I have not considered the friends who are sometimes, in fact most of the times, closer to you than parents….. Anyways, this can be a well justified point of debate. But, we better don’t go into that.
Anyways, I remember I was so happy about me meeting my family after a span of five and half year that I spent without parents. I had a couple of good offers in hand from IT industry. But, I chose to be an electronics engineer and thus joined a renowned company in electronics sector for the sake of my career interest, alias my personal interest. I was more close to my family as I got my family shifted to the place where I had to join.
It is said very often that you start thinking or caring about something when you don’t have it or when you fear of losing it. Something very similar happened in the black month of August. The month is known for the great Leos (I am also Leo). The month is though known so great, but, this isn’t the truth. No Leos are great and above god. I was elated and very happy to be with my family after a long time. I was enjoying every bit of it, what can be better than mom’s hand food. Yummy and best among all the cuisines I had so far. Be it Chinese, Spanish, Thai, anything, mom’s food the best.
I had to start my services for my new office from 1st of august. I was ready and all set for the go. For no reason, or if any there was, I had no clue of, I got a call from HR informing me of my one month delayed joining in the month of September. I thought it was due to administrative reasons as told, but this was not the case. It was not the administration of the new company; it was from the administration of the boss of all, God. How? You all must be wondering, just read through, I will leave it on you to decide whether it was a god’s call or mere a myth of mine rather a mistake to consider it as a simple call from the personnel.
Same evening I sat with my parents discussing about how I will be spending one month of leave…. ha ha.. Leave even before joining. So, better call those dreamy days as summer vacations. I know it’s weird to be called as summer vacation in the month of August, but, anyways it was before the starting of a new session. Finally after a zestful discussion of about an hour or so, I decided to take tuitions for IIT students at a renowned institute. Salary was fixed and I started going for classes the very next day.
Suddenly, after a couple of days I got to know while returning from institute that my mom was being admitted to the hospital. In fact in the biggest hospital of the town, I guess it was Mallya Hospital. I was shocked, because I had left her smiling just a couple of hours back when I had gone for taking the classes. Nothing was coming to my mind; I was driving but didn’t have any clue of where I was driving to. I took a steep turn to move down the lane towards Mallya.
I rushed towards the reception breathlessly. I asked, “Where can I get Mrs. Pratibha?” She replied, “OT3”. Every thing was scattered in my mind, I was not able to realize whether it was a dreamt of situation or something happening in reality. I was infuriated. It was just that the life was folded within that very moment only. I finally found OT3; everyone around was just standing like a portrait; no one was speaking out anything.
I called my dad outside in the corridor, and had a couple of minute’s discussion with him. From what I got to know, it was a no big issue. My mom had suffered stomach ache a few times, and thus she was admitted there for a small surgery. I was more relaxed and calm, when I got to know that the surgeon is my cousin only. She came out after about an hour, every one vividly waiting for her to give a statement out. She had a smile on her face, and so all of us did then follow her smile; it was a sign of no tension.
Very much relieved, I approached her. And, I told her my situation while I was driving through the traffic when I had got the call from hospital. She said, it was very normal thing and is done now. Just a couple of days and mom will be back home, cooking same delicious food for me. Moving out of her chamber, I went to the post operative ward, momma lying down on bed, just looking at everyone around, in fact in a happier way. I just thought within myself, “Mom, at least not now. You just had a surgery”. Anyways, I too smiled. So, now, you would say such a small thing and a 3 page story. Huh, friends, the story is yet to begin. This is just the Prologue. But, I had got just a clue of, why my joining to new office was delayed. Do you also? But, I asked god, just for this, one month holiday. I thought I would be going back to take tuitions now after a couple of days. But, this didn’t happen.
The day when she was about to be discharged, she said she is having gastric trouble. We were casual, and so were the doctors. But, this was not such simple problem. When diagnosed, my cousin called me inside and showed something I never saw. My mom was taken directly to the OT3 again. Dad was clueless, so was I, but exactly after I went inside and discussed the issue with the doctor. What I saw was, every vein inside her body was oozing out blood. Yes, every vein. And, a huge amount of blood was getting accumulated inside her stomach.
Doctor immediately moved out to get ready for a yet again task of their, one more operation for them, but, for me it was more than anything, I was getting clues now, something was wrong. But, I did not know what exactly. I was told to sign a risk agreeing document before the operation. Doctor said, may be any of the closing during the operation earlier was left open, though the chances were rare, but still. A nurse came out and gave me a slip. Just one sentence written on it, “12 Units of Blood group B+ve”. I started calling everyone I knew, for help. Because, that day, I remember, was 14th of August, an eve before our independence day. And, eventually, the state’s Chief Minister was in town, and unfortunately, shared same blood group as of my mom. So, all blood banks refused to give away even a single unit. So, I started shuffling the diaries and contacts that were available with me. I made around 50 calls. Thanks to all the people who turned up in no time. We could get 16 units of Blood that day.
After 6 hours of surgery, finally, it was 0200hrs on 15th of August; doctor came out and said everything is fine; and, giving me an indication to follow them alone. I followed them to the ICU, no one outside knew this. I was shocked and stunned after looking at a person lying on a corner bed in ICU. A lady was lying all covered with uncountable wires, syringes and many types of equipment around, which I saw for the first time ever in my life. Continuous supply of oxygen on. All of sudden, I got someone whispering in my ears, that’s your mom. What???? I was almost faint. It took me 5 minutes to realize. I said, God you can’t do this to me. Cousin said, it’s a disease called “Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation” wherein the body starts oozing out blood. And, it was a multi-organ failure. She was on ventilator and life saving drugs. I was told only a miracle can save her. In this disease you even can not give medicines, just wait and watch. Her liver had got infection as well. Just a costlier test (one test costs 600Rs) was done every 10 minutes to analyze the situation and discuss with US and UK doctors. I remember this test was done 800 times in total.
The blood was continuously draining out. I remember it was 300ml every hour. So, the 14 units out of 16 we provided were going to last not more than another 13-14 hours. Doctor gave me the situation as 99% death and 1% chance to survive. And, just imagine, how I had to pretend to the people outside, as if nothing has happened and everything is quite ok. I did same and had to leave for getting 20 units of platelets and plasma (required for slowing down the ooze rate) as doctors told me after consulting US and UK experts. This was supposed to be brought afresh because of some properties of its contents. I did not understand much even a bit of biology.

I was so damn tired after the entire day walkathon. But, the moment I was told to get the desired blood contents, I enquired how to go about it. My family friend got agreed to come along. We had to drive 300Kms, to a blood bank which had such facility to provide what we needed. It was 0300hrs by then. We left, it was raining heavily. I started driving with just one thing in my mind that I need to return back ASAP to save my mom as I could sense her going far away from us in no time we could realize. I was not able to make where the hell road was. But still, I was driving. I would just say one thing, from the entire drive of 3:30hrs, I just remember 30 minutes of driving I did. I slept while driving this is what I know. But, still we were on road. I did not know how. But, I realized, though I was physically seating on the driver seat, there was something else which was driving me virtually, my god… I believed him. I don’t remember when I reached the blood bank driving through heavy rains and that too in just 3:30 hrs wherein it was a distance which was usually traveled in 6 hours because of the road and traffic. We were back to hospital at 1030hrs in the morning. My mom was sleeping. I was all in tears when I saw her again. I just prayed to god and asked him to not to be so cruel and send back my mom as we all needed her desperately then how much god needed her. I told everyone outside just to pray for her speedy recovery. I know I again pretended.
It was then prayers all around. My mom was a teacher then. Every student of her student stood for whole day and prayed to god with holy chants. Everyone around us was trying to convince god in one way or other. And, me. I was just fighting with him and thinking a lot with a fear of losing her. But, then I accepted and told him, fine, I am ready. Just take her away. I accepted that my mom will be no longer with me. I prepared myself for the worst, but, still striving for the best. Doctors said, just wait and watch. I had to go 2 more times to get the plasma and all. I drove again and got everything they needed. I remember I had bought 60 units in 3 hits. The hopes were still alive as I knew everyone was praying and the consultancy with US and UK hospitals were being done uninterrupted by my cousin. She also did not sleep for 2 nights.
After a breath taking 3 day life, finally on 18th of August, at 1800Hrs, I was called inside the ICU, with all doctors including my cousin around me. I was prepared for worst. While I looked at everyone’s face, my cousin put her hands on my shoulder….. I screamed……………… what happened..??? Then, I just got one voice saying, good work and temperament shown. Doctors said, your prayers have worked and your mom has shown the symptoms of recovery now. Now, they said the situation was 40% and 60% chances. I was relieved a bit. They said they would be removing the ventilator now. My god…. I drank and poured 2 liter water bottle on myself. I was crying like anything, but, I had no shoulder to cry on even. No one else knew why I was crying then. But, when doctors revealed the situation, everyone knew why I had been asking everyone to pray.
Finally, on 19th August, I remember, the anesthetist said, they would now get my mom into senses. I remember I was continuously looking at her eyes as she opened her eyes. She was just trying to analyze the situation around. Know what, when doctors asked her what’s the time. She replied confidently, night I was taken to OT, so it should be Independence Day now, the 15th of August. I laughed and said, yes mom, it’s your independence day, and we have got you back. Everyone around had smile on their faces. She said, during the entire time when she was sleeping, she was just chanting Lord Hanuman’s prayers. And, I said, Thanks God!!!!
It took her 12 days to discharge and return back home. We were happy because I had a newly born as my mom. She was all new for us. And, it was 1st of September as well, my date to join the new office. I took her blessings and started on my way to office. And, during the entire half an hour drive, I analyzed what happened in last month. I had a very genuine reason for the call I got a month back for postponing the joining. I was now happy about it. I know I would have left the services if I had joined the new office last month. And, moreover, I still have my mom with me to talk all insights of my life endlessly…….. I wish everyone’s family a happy and healthy life.


- Kapil Sharma

AFTERGLOW

I met her under neon lights. Amazed by her looks I could feel the cupid strike. It was love at first sight. I could hear the bells ringing for days together. Unable to hold my feeling I met her again. She was my beautiful girl. I felt a different sensation whenever I saw her, my heart started beating faster, butterflies in my stomach. I tried every possible thing just to impress her. I confessed my feelings to my roommates and they told its love but it wasn’t, it was way more than that; it was a feeling of togetherness, a feeling of being there for her, a feeling of doing anything to any extent just for her one smile. It was a sense of excitement, a feeling of loving someone so much, beyond boundaries. I was lost in her.
One fine day, I gathered all my courage and thought of proposing her. I covered my ass with the latest fashion and moved out of my house like a warrior. My roommates cheering me all the way. I could feel a different me riding my bike. And then I saw her, as beautiful as ever. With that mesmerizing smile of her I again got lost in her but now to make her all mine. I took her to the best place in town and started telling her about my feelings. She listened to me carefully with a smile. I could see the same twinkle in her eyes. I knew she shared the same feeling but I had to take an official answer. After I finished explaining her about me, the answer came. It was a YES. I was the happiest man on earth. I was on cloud 9. The girl I dreamt about, I thought of, I longed for was finally mine. I could see the same excitement in her but she wasn’t jumping and laughing like me and I think that’s what separates us from girls.
I was sure our destinies were written in heaven. At least mine was. I knew she was the one for me. We loved each other like crazies. We were there for each other all the time. No matter how difficult the situation was we both fought that bravely. The bond that we shared was getting stronger with each second. I was lost in her thoughts, her enchanting beauty, and her cute smile. I would dream of her even with my eyes open. We were made for each other. Our friends were happy for us and so were we. They used to praise our relation and our devotion for each other. We would understand each other even before we expressed. It was a picture perfect relationship.
But as said by someone “Every relationship has an expiry date”. So did ours. A catastrophe stuck and everything started slipping away. I could feel I was loosing control on everything I had. Of all the things worst hit was my relation. The relation that was intricately woven for years was tearing into pieces. I think both of us, and especially I was to be blamed for it. I was crumbling under pressure. Circumstances prevailing over me- I was down. I lost my sense of expression and couldn’t tell her anything. Even if I wanted to I was just quiet and expressionless. She thought I found someone. She cried and I just looked onto her. I felt that my relation, my girl everything was soon going to be a history. The people whom I called friends were no where to be seen. I was all alone, ruined, doomed. No one to hear my side of the story, no one to take my side. My friends left me blaming and cursing me. Some were genuinely hurt by our break up and some
were sadistically happy. The sarcasm was clearly visible on their faces. But among all this chaos the truth was I lost my love. I lost lady of my dreams. I lost her for ever.
It’s been a long time now since we parted. I have no idea about her coordinates. What is she doing, how is she etc. But I still stand here always thinking about her, missing her touch, her smile, her love for me. Life continued; I made new friends, met new people. Learnt lots of lesson from life, maybe in a cruel way. I still long for her, I still love her. I don’t know what she feels for me; I have no hint about what she thinks of me. I believe it wouldn’t be good. Maybe she thinks that I might be happy with my new found love or may be she doesn’t even want to think about me at all. But I do. I still love her in a way no man could ever. I still dream of her. Not even a single moment has passed without thinking of her. What ever I do, wherever I am, I miss her more than anything else. I am still living in her afterglow.
Sharat Nautiyal