AFTERGLOW

I met her under neon lights. Amazed by her looks I could feel the cupid strike. It was love at first sight. I could hear the bells ringing for days together. Unable to hold my feeling I met her again. She was my beautiful girl. I felt a different sensation whenever I saw her, my heart started beating faster, butterflies in my stomach. I tried every possible thing just to impress her. I confessed my feelings to my roommates and they told its love but it wasn’t, it was way more than that; it was a feeling of togetherness, a feeling of being there for her, a feeling of doing anything to any extent just for her one smile. It was a sense of excitement, a feeling of loving someone so much, beyond boundaries. I was lost in her.
One fine day, I gathered all my courage and thought of proposing her. I covered my ass with the latest fashion and moved out of my house like a warrior. My roommates cheering me all the way. I could feel a different me riding my bike. And then I saw her, as beautiful as ever. With that mesmerizing smile of her I again got lost in her but now to make her all mine. I took her to the best place in town and started telling her about my feelings. She listened to me carefully with a smile. I could see the same twinkle in her eyes. I knew she shared the same feeling but I had to take an official answer. After I finished explaining her about me, the answer came. It was a YES. I was the happiest man on earth. I was on cloud 9. The girl I dreamt about, I thought of, I longed for was finally mine. I could see the same excitement in her but she wasn’t jumping and laughing like me and I think that’s what separates us from girls.
I was sure our destinies were written in heaven. At least mine was. I knew she was the one for me. We loved each other like crazies. We were there for each other all the time. No matter how difficult the situation was we both fought that bravely. The bond that we shared was getting stronger with each second. I was lost in her thoughts, her enchanting beauty, and her cute smile. I would dream of her even with my eyes open. We were made for each other. Our friends were happy for us and so were we. They used to praise our relation and our devotion for each other. We would understand each other even before we expressed. It was a picture perfect relationship.
But as said by someone “Every relationship has an expiry date”. So did ours. A catastrophe stuck and everything started slipping away. I could feel I was loosing control on everything I had. Of all the things worst hit was my relation. The relation that was intricately woven for years was tearing into pieces. I think both of us, and especially I was to be blamed for it. I was crumbling under pressure. Circumstances prevailing over me- I was down. I lost my sense of expression and couldn’t tell her anything. Even if I wanted to I was just quiet and expressionless. She thought I found someone. She cried and I just looked onto her. I felt that my relation, my girl everything was soon going to be a history. The people whom I called friends were no where to be seen. I was all alone, ruined, doomed. No one to hear my side of the story, no one to take my side. My friends left me blaming and cursing me. Some were genuinely hurt by our break up and some
were sadistically happy. The sarcasm was clearly visible on their faces. But among all this chaos the truth was I lost my love. I lost lady of my dreams. I lost her for ever.
It’s been a long time now since we parted. I have no idea about her coordinates. What is she doing, how is she etc. But I still stand here always thinking about her, missing her touch, her smile, her love for me. Life continued; I made new friends, met new people. Learnt lots of lesson from life, maybe in a cruel way. I still long for her, I still love her. I don’t know what she feels for me; I have no hint about what she thinks of me. I believe it wouldn’t be good. Maybe she thinks that I might be happy with my new found love or may be she doesn’t even want to think about me at all. But I do. I still love her in a way no man could ever. I still dream of her. Not even a single moment has passed without thinking of her. What ever I do, wherever I am, I miss her more than anything else. I am still living in her afterglow.
Sharat Nautiyal