Theology

The theory of theology is something which would probably take all of you on a ride, which probably might be very interesting for all of you who understand or want to understand the illogical logic behind the story, oop, theology……
It all started during the bloomy college days, when actually I started living my life…!!!! Full of joyous and rather more of horrible experiences, I kicked off!!!! Along with a dream of becoming a so called “Topper”, I also had a dream of jelling up with people, and to search out the best person among the lot, to be called as my closest….. J…..

Obviously, I wasn’t looking for a man… I thought of a lady who would just get along and jell up with me, and would understand the feelings of a person who rarely had a bit of it… But, But…..a bit was even more for me… moving out from a remote place in Rajasthan, to a sudden rather drastically changed environment of so called IT city… Bangalore… oh...It was one of the best experiences I had so far….. Now, coming back to the search I was on for….the lady…. I believed a lot in lady luck…. That’s a different that it never happened so, and the situation was worsened when this happened to me…..

Anyways, I don’t want to remember the blues extracted out of those lovely and most prestigious moments of my life….. During the look out, I found some one who was really matching to my expectations… Was that attraction…? No No… Infatuation… No No…… Lust….Nah, nah… anyways, I just leave it all off to you all to decide, what it was... And, hopefully you will be able to pour in with your views, once you finish up the entire episode written here…… She was…. A person with humble nature… a small baby doll… Cute…. Innocent… trustworthy….

This is how I felt when I first saw her…. I was never shy with my friends, but… I don’t know, even I couldn’t figure out what used to happen to me when ever I had to face her….I just laugh, imagining myself shivering, saying.. umm..haaan…ohh…. these words?? And, me?? Never… But, unfortunately, let her stand in front of me, and all of sudden, these used to be only words in my dictionary…. I never knew I was so weak inside…. And, I didn’t even know what was happening to me!!!!!! Sometimes, I thought I found my life and many times I realized I was dreaming and nothing else….. My room mate knew it all…. And, he was even happy for me and helped me realize what I was feeling like… know what…. A very usual and common line.. But, I was in love…. I always used to rush to him like as if he was my tutor... know what; he was the most flirtatious guy I had ever met… I never knew when I started planning the script of what will be happening next… I even used to discuss with my roomy, what would be her next say and how I am going to make her feel that she is very special to me... in fact, she is the utmost priority of my life at the moment….. I still admire those days….

She eventually started responding to my feelings, and somehow I thought I was becoming imperative for her as well…. It was just my thought.. this is what the story is all about and its jest lies in this very sentence….. Oh, I forgot, Just to remind you all…. I am a leo, so it was no surprise for me of having being attracted towards someone, rather everyone.. JJ.. But, I changed a lot, gosh… how… you never know…..Back…. We used to share a loads of coffees, pufs, etc… at our so called addda… the bakery… she used to stand in the balcony of her hostel, and, a miss would be a msg for her to come down….. We talked endlessly, and what we talked, even we didn’t know the very next moment…..


Rides on bike….not usual.. But, at least for picking her up and dropping her to wherever she wanted to be….. Coffee, huh….. Know what I was so prominent among the college guys, for what I was doing…… Guys were jealous… no!!!!!… they were smiling or.. were they laughing….. I thought it was no harm…. But… But…. But…… I couldn’t understand for what it was…… I was a fool then????? Don’t know.. Again, I would leave it off to you to decide and let me know….. I just knew one thing….. I found the one I was looking for…. She understood all my feelings, I was over cloud nine…. Overnight I became so damn caring…!!! But.. know what, you would find lots of Buts in here……
But… I failed….. I seriously failed…… I failed even before my exams were over……..

Folks, keep watching this space for Part 2…… the journey continues……


- Kapil Sharma